![]() For example, if someone in the party is a bus driver, or another type of worker who comes into contact with lots of people, they may want to consider opting out of a larger celebration to protect others at higher risk. Additionally, keep in mind that some people may not be able to socially distance or quarantine as much as others. Talk to your family and friends about the measures they've been taking to mitigate their risk. Kachur said it's very important to take precautions to protect those in your group who may be at a greater risk for the coronavirus. Thanksgiving is not the time to expand your bubble." "The lowest level of risk is limiting your gathering to the unit you're sheltering with already. "If you are in an intergenerational situation, wear masks to the extent you can," he advised. But they also added that this is an opportunity to refresh and rethink the old traditions of the day-and introduce some new ones.Health & Wellness Is it OK to hug? How many people can come? How to navigate holiday gatherings Most of the experts we spoke to suggested that you can temper your own disappointment and that of your loved ones with your expectation and assurances that this too shall pass. This year could be Thanksgiving dinner’s sabbatical. And lots of people are familiar with the idea of a sabbatical, a time when people stop their customary work and do something different for a while. Many faiths celebrate the idea of a sabbath or even a jubilee, when things rest or are cancelled. “Maybe there’s an uncle who makes a really great light pie crust, and this will be the year that he teaches the rest of us how to make it.” Remember the Sabbath She also encourages using Zoom creatively. “You can do one thing at a time: cook your daughter’s favorite food and deliver it to her house without having social interaction, then have social interaction online, but everybody’s eating their own food.”įishel’s organization has a downloadable Thanksgiving care package that families can download, so families can send each other games or conversation starters. “If you know your real objective is to minimize the spread of COVID-19, and your brother’s is to maximize family togetherness, you can look for solutions that do at least some of both.” While having the full Thanksgiving experience is imprudent, Wang suggests that you can recreate the important parts of it. “Good negotiators tend to step back and look for creative possibilities that address the interests of all involved,” says Ames. Acknowledge those fears and address them. A cancellation “may make family members fearful that this could lead to a more permanent disruption,” notes Fishel. Relatives might need to be reassured that this is not about them, that you wanted to come and that there will be more such gatherings. Maybe more than any other holiday, it also connects us to generations past, often through the food.” Disappointment over skipping it is natural, especially in a year full of uncertainties, sacrifices and losses. ![]() “Thanksgiving is the mother of all family dinners,” says Fishel. “And it can give you information that might point toward ways to proceed.” The recipe for this conversation, says Taibbi, calls for “about 800 lbs. “It can give them the experience of being heard and understood,” says Ames. Taking a posture of curiosity towards your reluctant relatives ensures two things. “If your brother wants the largest family gathering possible, why? What’s most important about that to him?” “We all have different needs.” Instead, Ames suggests, try to figure out what people really want. “Try not to be judgmental,” says Yan Wang, a psychology professor at Endicott College, if some family members don’t agree that the occasion should be skipped. Others may resonate more with the idea that your fear is for the most vulnerable, whether that’s the elderly or the children who will have to miss more school if there’s a breakout. “I’m worried about coming over too.” Some families, notes Fishel, may understand it more in terms of patriotism, that this feels like wartime, when everyone has to make sacrifices. I don’t want to have to worry about you,’” says Taibbi. Instead, stick to your concern for other family members, particularly the older ones. “You don’t want to go down a rabbit hole of that kind of stuff,” he says, “because then you get into arguing about whose reality is right.” This is not a time to break out your line graphs and cite local statistics. “Facts aren’t going to work,” says Taibbi. ![]() “But if you’re great at expressing your point of view constructively in writing, you might consider using that channel.” Don’t stick to the facts “Face-to-face conversations have the potential for greater understanding of one another’s emotions,” says Daniel Ames, a social psychologist and management professor at Columbia Business School-just keep it to video chat rather than in-person. Furthermore, choose your method of communication wisely.
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